Pain

The blade against your skin
Your fingers in your throat
The pills in your mouth
The alcohol in your glass
The drugs in your hand
Pain


The world is filled with pain. I believe most of it is self-inflicted but there's also those other cases where the innocent are hurt by the evil. People say there is good in everyone, but if that's true, where's the rest of the good in the world? Pain, suffering, sadness....it all describes the world we live in. I'm not referring to me, yes I hate myself and yes I'm unhappy every time I think about myself, but in this world, that's pretty damn great when you think about everything else going on. Innocent people being raped, murdered, starved...all for no reason. I know it's not something most people think about but people like Polly Klaas, Jaycee Dugard, Natalee Holloway, Genie, Kelsey Briggs, Masha, Elizabeth Fritzel, David Pelzer, Amber Hagerman, Steven Stayner, Elizabeth Smart, Colleen Stan, Natascha Kampusch...break my heart. Most people haven't even heard of most of those people and that's the sad part. These people had their innocence, their childhood, and for some of them, their life ripped away from them and they just get forgotten by the world? I know everyone says the world is an unfair place, but this just takes it too far. These people deserve to have a voice, to be heard, to warn others about the evil in this world. Everyone always thinks "Oh, but things like that don't really happen." But they really did and they still do. What kind of person would commit such heinous crimes, I don't know but they're out there and nothing gets to me more than when I read about a child who was neglected,  tortured, raped, or murdered. I just wish I could help them. The world will always have evil, but what if everyone did their part to help a child or family in need? What if, when you were at the school or supermarket that day, and you saw that mother yell at her child in a slightly abusive way that didn't just seem like she was having a stressful day, you did something about it? What if everyone did that? I mean, if they did that to their child in public, imagine what they could be doing to them at home. Yes, it very well may be nothing and probably is but isn't it better to be safe than sorry?
One of my biggest regrets in life, and it still brings tears to my eyes, is that one time when I was 14 yrs old, I was out shopping with my Mom and sister when we stopped in the food court. My sister and I went to stand in line at one restaurant while my mom went to another. While we were in line, there was a lady in front of us that had a baby with her in a stroller, I would guess he was about 2. The baby started to ask for some water and the mother very firmly told the baby to "shut up". I was astonished someone could talk in such a way to an innocent baby but didn't think much of it as she could have just been busy at the moment and chosen the wrong words. The baby then got upset as any child spoken to in that manner would have and the mother crouched down to eye level with the baby and popped his face and said " I said shut up!". At this point, I was ready to burst with anger and heart-break! How could anyone treat a baby like this? At this point the lady was finally ordering and the baby looked as heart-broken as I felt with a tear-stained face and a puckering lip, but he did stop crying. The woman finished ordering and walked the baby over to the table she was sitting at and proceeded to sit on one side of the table with a friend and eat while the child sat in his stroller on the other side of the table with nothing to eat or drink and was expected not to talk or cry. After my sister and I finished ordering I immediately looked at her and said we HAD to do something! We needed to call someone; the police, CPS, security, I didn't care, just anyone who would do something for that child! When we got back to our table with our food we both told my Mom and they both agreed that CPS and the police wouldn't do anything about it and we didn't see anything major so it wasn't worth calling. I disagreed but I let it go. I went to sleep that night wondering what that child might be enduring while he was at home and no one was there to witness the pain his mother caused him. I should have insisted we call someone, but I didn't. That was 2 years ago and I still wonder about that child. Is he okay? Did something bad happen to him? Could I have stopped it? I'll never know, but I do know it kills me inside. I'll never watch something like that again and not do something. Every child deserves to be loved, or at least a chance; give it to them.
*Jane